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  • Writer's pictureKathleen Brown

Yes, I'm Still Here

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Two months, actually. Turns out, working one full time job, one part time job, maintaining a healthy relationship and lifestyle, and applying to graduate school sucks up a lot of time. What else is new?

A few updates:

1. I have four complete applications.

2. I have yet to mail in supplementals for three schools, and two are missing letters of recommendation.

I realize that a lot of blog posts come with perspective. I don't have a lot of that since I'm in the midst of applications. I think the most valuable thing I've figured out is to keep moving forward.

My heart rate rises every time I open an application. It rises every time someone asks me about the application process. It rises when I see random people with "UCLA" or "Texas State" emblazoned across their sweatshirts. This process is mentally taxing because I am putting my artistic self, a soft little being that sings from deep inside my soul, to be poked and prodded (or worse, ignored) by admissions reps and department heads. My instinct is to keep that little thing nurtured and cultivated and deep inside of me so that I don't have to show anyone what I'm really like, lest they think I'm stupid.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that one of my biggest fears in life is looking or seeming stupid. And it is really easy to feel like a total buffoon when banging out a personal statement to some of the most highly regarded educational institutions in the country: "hi I like theatre and you should let me study theatre because I like it."

I tell myself to keep moving forward. Submit the application. Upload the portfolio. Its all about the process.

<3 K

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